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TeenPactChick
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Name: Jody
Birthday: 1/27/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Real letters - writing and receiving them, reading, writing, singing, laughing, discussing things of importance, theology, philosophy, science, thinking worldviewishly, talking, listening, driving through the country, listening to good music...
Expertise: I'm no expert... Just a girl attempting to model the Love of Jesus Christ.
Occupation: Other
Industry: Retail
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/11/2004
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| I Need You to Love Me
Why, why are You still here with me
Didn’t You see what I’ve done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it’s here I see the truth
I don’t deserve You
But I need You to love me, and I
I won’t keep my heart from You this time
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me
I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me
‘Cause You’re a God who has all things
And still You want me
Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been
~ i Need You to Love Me, by Barlow Girl
There is nothing like the love of GOD to put my confusion, burdens, and
seeming hardships into perspective. My life is so tiny compared to the
grandeur of God, yet He chooses to invest in me anyway. His thoughts
toward me outnumber the sand on the shore... And I really think that He
cannot plan my future?
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let
patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete,
lacking nothing.
If any of you lacks wisdom [a hearing heart], let him ask of God, who
gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to
him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is
like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that
man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a
double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." (James 1:2-8, courtesy of Biblegateway)
The things I think are trials are so small in comparison to the rest of
history. Still, they are trials in my life. God is certainly big enough
to handle them, but He watches to see how the tests (literally
"piercing to see what is inside") will cause me to react. He pierces me
to see what comes out.
"Punch me, I bleed."
Pierce me I... Can I say that grace, peace, and joy course through the
gaping hole? Only if I confess my need for God to love me. I am weak,
may His strength be made perfect in that weakness.
You see, in my flesh, no good thing dwells. My mouth speaks out of
the overflow of my heart. I know what is inside of me... And I am
brought to my knees in humiliation and ruin. How could God possibly
love me? Why would He want to know me? Why would the One who knew no
sin become sin in my stead? Why does He trifle with me? Or you? Or
anyone?
A thousand questions more run into the same answer: LOVE. God wants to
love us. To love me. To you love you. His love refuses to overlook our
sin. But by His great mercy with which He saved us, He gave His Son to
be a ransom. Jesus took our place. It is by His love that we were
created. It is by His love that we are redeemed.
Let me further dare to say that God created us to love US. And all this
time we have been taught that He made us to love Him. How pitiful that
would be without the Father first loving us, teaching us how to love
Him.
When satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see HIM there
Who made an end to ALL my sin
Because the Sinless Saviour died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on HIM and pardon ME
~ Before the Throne of God Above | | |
| The Cost of Character
FOR'TITUDE, n. [L. fortitudo, from fortis, strong.]
That strength or firmness of mind or soul which enables a person to
encounter danger with coolness and courage, or to bear pain or
adversity without murmuring, depression or despondency.
Fortitude is the basis or source of genuine courage or intrepidity in
danger, of patience in suffering, of forbearance under injuries, and of
magnanimity in all conditions of life. We sometimes confound the effect
with the cause, and use fortitude as synonymous with courage or
patience; but courage is an active virtue or vice, and patience is the
effect of fortitude.
Fortitude is the guard and support of the other virtues.
(Webster's 1828 Dictionary)
Why don't we use words like fortitude, prudence, forbearance, discipline, diligence, perseverance, and temperance anymore?
It is because those things take work. We want to have instant character
reformation in two weeks or less (for only $49.95), rather than going
through the lengthy process it really takes to grow virtue. But virtue
cannot be bought, it is painstakingly learned.
I look at men like Patrick Henry, George Washington, Benjamin Franklin,
William Wilberforce, Nathaniel Bowditch, John Qunicy Adams, and others;
it took years for them to form good character. It was not built by
themselves, rather it was instilled by their parents, pastors, mentors,
and "Providence" Himself through the Bible. The product of their good
character is still impacting our lives today.
Are we squandering our spiritual and virtuous inheritance?
><> Jody | | |
| January 10, 2008 - 7:10pm
I have arrived at Starbucks to meet
Andrea. I am early, for once in my life. I hear coffee grinding. I
smell the deep, bold scent of the brew.
The quintessential
business meeting takes place to my right. The man with the shaved head
doesn't stop talking. The blond and the dark-haired man next to her,
smile and do their best to be impressed. The music piping through the
speakers becomes obnoxious, overpowering the business discussion.
The two ladies ahead of me chit-chat about their children,
birth order, and school news. Just a light meeting that has little to
do with the lattes they sip.
A high school girl has come in
since I settled at this checkered table. She is working on filling out
an application or homework (or perhaps something else, equally as
boring) and appears to be waiting for someone.
The two women behind me I have hardly noticed. Their
conversation is indistinguishable from the tepid jazz overhead. They
are standing now, making ready for their parting of ways.
People
have wandered in and out since my arrival: two teenage girls, a man in
his thirties, and the man with glasses who had been sitting outside
when I entered. The newest arrivals are a man and his son. They have
disappeared from view, ordering their preferred beverages. A young
couple has joined the fray and lengthened the line.
Upon closer observation I discover the "business meeting" to
my right is actually a photographer, trying to win another couple to
his payroll.
The high school girl's friend has come in. They quickly procure the comfy chairs by the door.
So much goes on in this busy nook. No one intersects with
anyone other than those who came with them. I have made eye-contact
(which was quickly broken) with perhaps two people. Who watches this
little scene? Who see from outside the story? Does the redhead with the
busy pen and an equally busy mind even realize that she is observed?
How much time do we spend rushing
around, running errands, meeting people, talking about the little
things that comprise life? What do we think about during these times?
Our work, our unfinished lists, our own little thoughts?
Even now my thoughts flit to what I will order when Andrea
arrives. But for a moment I will let them be arrested by the One who
laid the foundations of the earth. One who presides as Conductor over
the chorus of the morning stars. One who tames the fiercest creatures
of the world. My thoughts expand, there is so much more than this
snapshot of life, than this day. There is so much more to man. And I am
waiting...
My phone rings. Andrea is calling to let me know she is running late. I tell her I'm writing and to take her time.
My
thoughts are distracted by the blond who might be better off marrying
the photographer, rather than the dark-haired man who silently takes in
the presentation. My ears are distracted by what I thought was James
Taylor. I am sorely disappointed to find that I am mistaken.
I shift my thoughts to the grandeur beyond this place, yet
that is in the hearts of those He has called His own. The One who is so
much bigger dwells in me, walks into this little place, sees my small
thoughts. And He doesn't run away.
~ Jody, 7:50pm
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| Ode to a Dying Year
The sunlight is gold and amber
Upon the the bare branches
Of the tree outside my window
Its kin claw at the deepening blue sky,
Like fingers from a skeletal hand
Trying to escape the encasing earth
Fading light, barren trees,
and the empty sky...
In their season all things living die
An old year dies, a new is birthed
With wheezing breath old passes,
The new arrives full of mirth
Pause and ponder: Just twelve months ago
This dying year was youthful and jubilant,
Promising and full of hope
How soon the time passes
How quickly things have changed
Brief moments slipped through too slow fingers
Each day the year grows older
Sunsets still turn empty branches gold
Time is fleet-footed as a hart
Will you be untouched?
At the end the same as at the start?
><> Jody
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| God is Gracious
(My name means God's gracious gift. Am I living up to it, or is He?)
Much of my life I've been the stronger person
in many friendships. Now I feel like I'm constantly falling on my face and
asking other people for help or to pay attention to me. It makes me
feel weak, selfish, and unworthy. I do not understand grace, either
from God or from my friends. I do not understand why people love me when I am anything but lovely or lovable. I
don't merit favour, I don't deserve the love I have been given. I never
could. I never will. And I don't know what to do with that aside from
being deeply grateful.
My Jesus I love Thee, I know Thou art mine
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign
My Gracious Redeemer, my Saviour art Thou
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus tis now
I'm
finding more and more how much I love the names God calls
Himself in His word. They reveal to me just a little bit more of His
character. I get the tiniest glimpse of yet another aspect of who He is.
My
Gracious Redeemer, that is probably my favourite right now. God has
been gracious to me by redeeming me. He takes those things about me
that are broken and corrupted and makes them new, makes them whole.
Granted, I'm stubborn, I fall down - but He patiently picks me up and
waits for me to catch my breath. In fact, He gives me each breath.
When
I get hung up on all of my idiosyncrasies, shortcomings, desires, failures, and needs,
it has been God's grace that has made me stop. It is His grace that causes me to refocus and set my eyes
upon the Author and Finisher of our faith. That is where my eyes should have been all along.
You love me, when I'm anything but lovely
Oh and no one else would want me
But Your love holds on
~ Josh Bales
><> Jody
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